It's been several years now since 'those circles' were introduced into Hamilton County and I've come to love them. That's right I've got a full blown man crush on the dog bone, the short circle, the bridge to the other side. Call it what you will I cannot for the life of me imagine how I spent all of those years at stop lights waiting and waiting, often with no one even coming from the other direction. While my fondness for these new traffic monuments has grown, I'm afraid my patience for the unpredictable roundabout user has become, well thin. To that end I've categorized several types of roundabout violaters for you to avoid at all costs.
1) The Peeper. This driver gets right up to the very entrance of the roundabout and eases forward and eases forward, all the while peeping to their left. Even though there's no one coming, they just cannot commit to moving ahead.
2) The Lane Hog. There are two types of lane hogs. The first has no idea what lane he's to take in the roundabout and wanders across all pavement with zero mastery of traffic signs 101. The second is in a huge hurry and goes through at break neck speed crossing all lanes and sometimes the sidewalk in an effort to get through the roundabout as quickly as possible.
3) The Passer. This person thinks the roundabout is an opportunity to move up in the NASCAR points standings. They gun the engine to full throttle when entering the sphere in an effort to make up as many track positions as possible before the next actual yellow light...which THEY will clearly be the cause of.
4) The Undecided. This driver treats the roundabout like my grandparents treated a Sunday afternoon drive. They're never concerned ahead of time where their destination may be. Oh...that looks like a nice ramp...let's turn NOW.
5) The Arrogant. These people could also be called the 'know it alls' because whatever lane they're in is the right one to go where ever they damn well please. They will be the first to give you the one fingered Warren Central salute when they cut you off in their travels.
6) The Starbuckians. These people are a pleasant lot but are always distracted by their $4.50 Frappalatte, their screaming pack of 10 year olds in the back, their lap dog hanging on the steering wheel or their conversation with Missy from card club. On the positive side they usually always offer an apologetic wave when they cut you off because they're distracted.
Have we forgotten any? if so feel free to contribute your suggestions in the comments section below. 1000 Drew Carey points for any good suggestions.
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